Ruminations: Leaving + Loving the Past…

I recently embarked on a mission to leave the past behind and start fresh, despite having to return to a city that harbors tons of memories. I came back for a job. I quit the job. Now I’m launching a new life. It sure is funny, though, how the universe keeps throwing things at you.

“Are you sure you want to leave it behind?
What about this?
Or this?
And you don’t REALLY want to leave this behind, do you?

And any attempts to move toward meeting my new goals are consistently thwarted.

“So you’re ready to work on your films?
Yeah, I don’t think so.
(Bye bye, Final Cut.)
Oh, so you think you’re smart, eh?
Just go on over to iMovie?”
(Enter: Shaky video uploaded. Then a constant shut-down and “You must restart your computer” message.)

So I write. And I take pictures. And I read. And I hate my Internet because it keeps going in and out. So I walk away from the computer. And then I dream…
I dream of one day living in a place with flowers and a beach and warm air. And I dream of a little cottage with a washer and dryer, but also a line outside to hang my clothes out in the sun. And I dream of a blue rotary phone, a 1970s Volvo, and no cell phone and no Internet. I dream of writing everything out in a notebook, or typing it out on a typewriter. And I dream of getting books to read from the library, and of listening to records at home. And I dream of only checking my emails (and such) once a week, from the library. And I dream of writing letters, and sealing them with stickers or a wax mark. And I dream of meeting friends at a coffee shop to catch up on what’s been happening. Not by text. Sometimes by rotary phone. And never by email.

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